make me drunk.(fish)

.

To fly

to be high

to see more

to feel unconditionally

to moan

make

me

drunk.







.

No more.

no more feeds

no more "anonymous" comments

No more randomness

I can start all over.

let me feel...

.

sober

There's a shadow just behind me,
Shrouding every step I take,
Making every promise empty,
Pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
Who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
Just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
Something but the past and done? 
Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over. 
I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down. 
Trust me. 
Mother Mary won't you whisper
Something but what's past and done. 
Trust me. 
I want what I want.

---
"Sober" as written by Maynard James/Jones Keenan
Lyrics © EMI Music Publishing

blank

I'm here.

Nothing happened, just a consequence of being me living my life in half way.

Absolutely lonely. Loneliest.

Totally alienated, left thrown bounced off the wall rolled into dark dusty corner stripped off everything and every meaning.

Boxed in, soundproofed, never understood never misunderstood never invited either uninvited.

Broken damaged dried out mummified scratched extracted fractured balded "imbeciled" deranged unskilled emptied blinded obvious unhappiness.

Bottomless bottom collapsed under my feet. 

It's the end of the ends.

I'm flying in spiral dive into merely seconds of this what left.

(Nothing left.)

Because I'm nothing more than me and me is nothing. No one is me and me is no one.

I'm here yet for a while, I will smile. Laugh. 

I already laugh inside. This laugh makes me sad and more unhappy. 

I know this laugh will explode imploding every little bit of nothingness of me and my life.

A real laugh - the laugh, the only certain physical physiological certainty of this what left of me.