I thought I found an entry. I was almost wrong, merely right, it wasn't an exit, a wardrobe door.
At 11PM I ate one TimeOut and Boost candy bars and I felt good.
Pressed virtual buttons in my phone to check how patient I am.
I swallowed two pills, multivitamin and Pink Pill Of Bitter Taste.
I did feel the taste of fever.
Around 11:48PM I was thinking about my ex gf and the day she Found A Dog And It Was Nice (though it was smelly)
About 12:03AM I was thinking about my old friend Jessie and his sudden disappearance from San Jose.
At 12:05AM I was wondering if she ever gonna find a movie. She didn't.
48 minutes past midnight I was horny for about 50 seconds and then realized it is just a fever.
1:05AM I was wondering what am I thinking about. I realized I am wondering what I was thinking about, it was illuminating.
Yes I am sane, I have fever and aches here and there. I like my fever. I won't drink cough syrup I don't cough. I like the idea of Strawberry Coughs marijuana and music of 60's. I really like my fever. I wonder am I gonna delete my latest entry (this you are reading) after this coma I'm in. I wonder how this entry will taste without fever. I will read. I promise. Please don't steal my images. Thanks.
I don't understand people, no..wrong I have no social skills.Yup. I don't' have 'em.
I don't really know what should I ..know, what should I understand or how should i react or what should I say or ..and etc.
That's all.
Problems with communication..mebbe not ..dunno. whatever. what.
what?
what!
Yup.
Today, today I am finally and officially tired of my Private Autumn. Went out for a dinner, we had..ehh crap I forgot what we had...wait lemme recall, oh right Japanese stuffs, I think I had garlic chicken , miso, salads , fruits, silver fish and hot sake, she had beef and similar stuffs. Then we went out to check TV sets. Nice, we checked and decided to get...an aircon. Yeah. We'll buy that aircon in the future. TV? what TV?
Later it was Japanese cafe (what else sighs), and I was enjoying super lovely coffee that had cost me...=.=" I think $3.80 or so. CHEAP anyway worth money. Rainy day, rainy night. Such a sorrow child I am...NOT!
I'm back to here again. Soon yet couple of days autumn will surrender to winter..and here in Singapore..nothing will change..nothing at all. How amazing =.=
Well I wanna be the first, and I'll say good bye to my private autumn. Bye., go away, hell ain't got no decent cafe in Singapore, so you are useless completely. Like paper shoes in rainy weather. Exactly.
Time to explode. Time to ..raise hands ...yeah ya know how it goes already.
This scene setup i so BOHEMIAN, so drunk so ehh..NERDY i love it. I wanna get wasted same way like this dude Jason Donovan (guy playing with light switch and plastic cup), just i hope my "motor coordination" will be betta, dude shakes like with heavy parkinsons :)) (gawd he's so old O.o" she said, I agreed)..but heck who cares,
orgy people orgy,she doesn't love you? oh how sad, he left you cause he couldn't do better, she rejected you because you are just...and you you are jobless? and they dislike me because I didn't know?..aww OH MY LORD!...WHO CARES!!!! tears, laughter, soul is screaming, shouting ripping off da chest, baby wanna fly? Is there anyone else here who doesn't know? We're under fifteen feet of pure white snow....
Yeah well, I'm back. I's 1:54am I can't sleep (nothing new aye).
I had a crazy day, slow but steadily crazy. I left my wallet behind only two times, 3rd time it was a false alarm, I left it at home. Average in norm, I'd say routine, forgetfulness, I go that since wee childhood. So yeah day like everyday. Almost. Pretty much autumn like weather, raining, heavily, they say cold (75.2F (24C) o.O lol yeah that is "cold" here, sadly it won't get hmm "colder" anymore :))
Been tryin' to use my phone for communication with a use of mobile yahoo messenger..hmph..OMG that is slooooow. got bored very fast. Forget it.
My phone was pretty silent today, happens more and more often. Oh well I know I know, its all my fault. Fine. Not a biggie its not some "course of Millhavaven" or such, just silence. No one miss me, like its only me...ehh. Alright next, well next was home...and there silence, AGAIN =.= OK quickly filled it with music, phew and 'twas already pretty much alright. My equipment is still dead so I just slacked around, washed dishes..erm mugs, showered and went online to check stuffs. Checked....and etc etc so on and on etc again and etc...blah.
And now..seems..so silly. Just checked dump site, aww and yeah :( oh and what did i expect :| I'm so stupid sometimes.\=|
The kindness of strangers, life aye...
Autumn I think most fertile in poems season right after spring, or maybe even better that spring. One of the most "dramatic" months, soaked in tears and rain, rain of tears , tears of rain, all's wet and sad and so "aww" oh and sometimes pretty much revolutionary month (dig if ya curious). Funny is how crime rates falling down in autumn compared to summer or burglary loving winter. Strange. Should be opposite, human nature is STRANGE, officially, I find it STRANGE.
What.
Yup so there it is, bit of autumn in this weird STRANGE entry, I'm not expecting understanding really.
I don't fully understand myself.
What.
Oh yeah seriously brilliant movie, light stuff, lovely and full of ROCK'N'ROLL..girls and boys shoo to theaters to watch "The Ship That Rocked". Please do, yes you , you too, pls go and watch. Please?
And I'm already thinking of how am i gonna fill tomorrow..I mean today, with stuff "to not to think"..wait a minute I think..I..hmm what.
What?
What.
Oh OK.
There pretty much to pump up autumn's crime rate, a video clip, song from the album "Murder Ballads" by Nick Cave and PJ Harvey (oh this passion I guess its because they were an item once..probably that time, an dno she did not kill him for real, I guess it was someone else..), so here it is "Henry Lee".
Autumn..autumn..naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I watched awesome movie. I feel great I like it I'm cool now I'm gonna watch again :| oh man I'm so so..hmmph =} I like it :D
Yup.
I do.
OK, autumn well I'll continue 'bout autumn tomorrow...maybe.
It's late autumn.
Autumn, the time of "the end" the time of good byes. The time of depressions, flu, rainy days, windy cold nights. Between lazy Summer and confused Winter, season like a funeral between life and life after death, that is if you believe in it...
To me, this used to be the worst season of 'em all. Now. But now I lost all of the seasons, and suddenly I felt strangely inadequate without Autumn...without autumn music, moods, melancholy of this season, coffee and wine evenings with friends at cafe, returns home in windy, rainy weather, flu, muddy paths, parks patinated with broken gold and reds, walk home which slowly melts into grayed dirty days...
Because there's obvious autumn around me and in me...in this "seasonless" Singapore. Because so many unhappy souls, broken hearts, rain inside me and you... I decided I'll make my own autumn in my blog, with my old friend of my depressions (specially these Autumn Depressions) Nick Cave. "Enjoy" day one and hold on to yourself.
